User Profile

For the sake of posterior, I mean posterity, I have preserved the following from my original "about me" schpiel:

"Unless you yourself are looking for a little inspiration in the weightloss/health department...this will be dry reading. It's mostly exersize and diet...
I kind of view fat as emotional scar tissue, like a callous building over a chaffed toe, fat builds on the body of an unhappy soul. we all have our issues...It's our job to pull out the dead past and bring it under the light of an autopsy table...yes it stinks, but, we must dissect the corpse of past experiences to find the diseases that spread throught the body of existence. an unpleasant task, but one that must be done to heal, and to become what our heart desires us to be.
I'm trying to get my corporeal existance to match what I feel inside. I realized I had it backward. Life was not getting in the way of what I wanted, I was getting in the way of life."

yeah, so, I've come to view being overweight quite differently than when I started this journal a couple years ago. In most ways I've stopped the judgement of myself because of how I look. I still get hung up on how it's viewed socially, and sometimes, how difficult it can make certain activities, but as far as a personality flaw...I've finally let that go. I've also realized that while I had a great deal of mental and emotional habits to work through...they aren't the be all end all of why I am big. I ate too much of the wrong stuff, and I forgot how much I loved to move.

I can honestly say that for the first time in my life I am happy with myself, extra padding and all. That doesn't mean that some things couldn't be better (which is why I'm starting this all over) I was more comfortable physically being smaller, I could do more things, be more confident, and I liked the way I was treated better...though I wasn't a better person for it. To me now, that is more important than the goal of being attractive and slender that I kept trying and failing at so many times before. I've finally learned that I am attractive because I am myself.

I've stopped and started weightloss efforts many times. Basically with this now I aim to keep a journal of sorts, posting experiences, weight, exercise, points (President's challenge, not WW)and general thoughts along the way. I also post links to articles or sites I find helpful or interesting in the realm of physical fitness and/or weightloss.

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